Source: Unsplash
Caption: womam assessing how was her day from good to bad
“Rejections are the most common emotional wound we sustain in daily life.”
That is, most likely, the biggest truth I have heard in my life! Most of the things we do we end up doing because of a emotional wound, being it a rejection or a disagreement with a friend or a beloved.
Until today I carry hurtful feelings from years ago, one of them being from two years ago when I had just moved schools for 6th year and I wasn't even able show how capable I was before my teacher telling me it would be best if I dropped from Higher Level English to Ordinary Level; or nine years ago when I was excluded for many years by the other children from all the games, nine years have passed and I still remember how I felt by the rejection and how painful it felt.
A few years ago “scientists discovered that the same areas of our brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain” and when our self-esteem is hurting most we tend to damage it even more. To avoid it is suggested to: - have zero tolerance for self- criticism
- Revive your self-worth
- Boost feelings of connection
- Over your many years as a student, what are the most productive feedback experiences you can remember? And the most negative?
Honestly, it is easier to remember the negative feedbacks than the positive ones.
The most positive feedback was when I was a ballet dancer and at the end of a solo I danced my teacher told me there was no correction to be made, I was so happy I finally had achived the “perfection”.
The most negative feedback I have received was from my English teacher during 6th year, I move schools during the last school year and my teacher, right after my first essay was handed back, said that I should drop to Ordinary Level (I didn't and now I'm a sophomore).
“When things get tough [...] Make good art. [...] Make it on the bad days, make it on the good days, too.”
- Neil Gaiman
Readings:
- Neil Gaiman’s advice on the creative life by Maria Popova
- Why rejection hurts so much by Guy Winch
Lívia Alencar
Hey Livia , I really liked with what you did about this topic, feedback has always been one of the things I worried about especially in college when presenting work! I always thought last minute was it good or bad? Maybe it didn't follow the brief? I worked so hard on this and I don't want negative feedback! But there are also advantages to negative feedback to make you work even harder next time!
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